It's quiet now, and as I think my thoughts alone,
I try to keep my head straight, but I think I'm too far gone.
for in this silence, the truth rings even louder.
a constant grinding begging recognition of its power.
through its eyes I take the trip, destiny: the place
of pain and pleasure absolute, where sorrow has a face
a place if time where spirit, asked to stand and hold its ground
has lost all equilibrium and is slowly sinking down.
down into the darkness that the lack of will affords,
down into the shadows, past the junkies past the whores
down into the mire, suffocating all that lives,
but if I say "I care" i lie for I've no more left to give.
well, I suppose a hand would help. oh yeah, there's no one here.
guess that's what I wanted (once again my greatest fear).
I just long to hear a bird song, just to let me know there's light.
for as we all know a songbird never sings its song at night.
but, its quiet now.
a thought, a subtle image, comes creeping around again
a vision clear as day then projects onto my lens.
with my little heart I often hope for once, all hopes not lost...
but even as I try I find, the truth demands a cost.
exacted from my soul (my only means of recompense)
taken as a toll for even knowledge charges rent
removed from me without consent iI've now a hole to fill
compounded by the fact that I hear the grinding still
the darkness sure and silent holds fast beyond my reach
a ray of light has not a chance, the shadows can't be breached
a fight ensues and all is waged until the end has come
a battle to the death pits a father against his son
what now? I ask the guide of this me my final fate
and I'm led into the cell, I hear the closing of the gate.
the silence I once feared is at last my final end
and the silence I once hated has become my only friend, again.
it's quiet now.
~ Derrick Carter
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