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| Engaging the flow |
The Eighth Insight is about using energy in a new way when relating to people in general. It talks about how humans will eventually learn to relate to each other, such as how to project energy to others and how to avoid addictions to people. It warns against your spiritual growth being stopped when you become addicted to another person.
When one first learns to be clear and to engage one’s evolution, any of us can be stopped, suddenly, by an addiction to another person. the idea of an addiction explains why power struggles arise in romantic relationships. We've always wondered what causes the bliss and euphoria of love to end, to suddenly turn into conflict, and now we know. It is a result of the flow of energy between the individuals involved. When love first happens, the two individuals are giving each other energy unconsciously and both people feel buoyant and elated. That’s the incredible high we all call being “in love.” Unfortunately, once they expect this feeling to come from the other person, they cut themselves off from the energy in the universe and begin to rely even more on the energy from each other—only now there doesn't seem to be enough, so they stop giving each other energy and fall back into their dramas in an attempt to control each other and force the other’s energy their way. At this point, the relationship degenerates into the usual power struggle.
Our susceptibility to this kind of addiction can be described psychologically. The reason we can become addicted to someone of the opposite sex is that we've yet to access this opposite sex energy ourselves. The mystical energy that we can tap as an inner source is both male and female. We can eventually open up to it, but when we first begin to evolve, we have to be careful. The integration process takes some time. If we connect prematurely with a human source for our female or male energy, we block the universal supply. When we first begin to evolve, we automatically begin to receive our opposite-sex energy. It comes in naturally from the energy in the universe. But we must be careful because if another person comes along who offers this energy directly we can cut ourselves off from the true source… and regress. Until we learn how to avoid this situation, we are walking around like a circle half complete. You know, we look like the letter C. We are very susceptible to a person of the opposite sex, some other circle half complete, coming up and joining with us—completing the circle that way—and giving us a burst of euphoria and energy that feels like the wholeness that a full connection with the universe produces. In reality, we have only joined up with another person who is looking for their other half on the outside too. This is a classic co-dependent relationship and that it has built-in problems that begin to arise immediately. The problem with this completed person, this O, that both people think they have reached, is that it has taken two people to make this one whole person, one supplying the female energy and one supplying the male. This one whole person consequently has two heads or egos. Both people want to run this whole person they have created and so, just as in childhood, both people want to command the other, as if the other were themselves. This kind of illusion of completeness always breaks down into a power struggle. In the end, each person must take the other for granted and even invalidate them so that they can lead this whole self in the direction they want to go. But of course, that doesn't work, at least not anymore. Perhaps in the past, one of the partners was willing to submit themselves to the other—usually the woman, sometimes the man. But we are waking up now. No one wants to be subservient to anyone else any longer. We can still have romance, but first we have to complete the circle on our own. We have to stabilize our channel with the universe. That takes time, but afterward, we are never susceptible to this problem again and we can have what is called a higher relationship. When we connect romantically with another whole person after that, we create a super-person… But it never pulls us from the path of our individual evolution.
So how do we avoid these encounters? By resisting the ‘love at first sight’ feeling for a while, by learning to have platonic relationships with members of the opposite sex. But remember the process. You must have these relationships only with people who will reveal themselves, telling you how and why they are doing what they are doing. By understanding who these opposite-sexed friends really are on the inside, one breaks past one’s own fantasy projection about that gender, and that releases us to connect again with the universe. Remember that this is not easy, especially if one has to break away from a current co-dependent relationship. It is a real pulling apart of energy. It hurts. But it must be done. Co-dependence is not some new malady some of us have. We’re all co-dependent, and we’re all growing out of it now. The idea is to begin to experience that sense of well-being and euphoria experienced in the first moment of a co-dependent relationship when you are alone. You get to have him or her on the inside. After that, you evolve forward and can find that special romantic relationship that really fits you.
~ The Celestine Prophecy
